Beware, houseplants!

Beware, houseplants! I've heard what you're saying
behind my back, they'll be no more playing
tricks on me, trying to put ticks on me
and pursing smirking, greenish lips at me--
"We're only plants, we mean no harm," you cry,
but spend a night or two--or three!--outside,
you'll wish that you'd behaved like civil plants
and, if you had, I'd take you to the dance
tonight, but no! bad houseplants should know it's
time out for plants until further notice.

As important as sunlight and water
is the need for all plants to be proper.

Art Song

I would like to Xerox a portion of your gnome,
though by no means the whole thing for I am too often prone
to take things to extremes.

Yes, I'd like to photocopy a segment of your dwarf--
and, lifted from life, just a portion will suffice.
Just a little portion of your dwarf would be nice.

Disco Gnomes?

--No, these are the gnomes who traffic in body parts and '70s memorabilia.

--Body parts from the 1970s too?

--Yeah, from the '70s; everything from the '70s.

--Fuck, those are those gnomes?

--Yeah. Disco gnomes. '70s gnomes.

Two for Price of One

Ward Churchill Versus the Elves

He was a taboo-smashing fugitive man-beast and the elves
who chased him would not relent.

The knowledge of their blood lust propelled him--
no good in even trying to repent.

++++

A Salute to Smells

Would you like to smell my loafers, Juliana?
Then, let's take a whiff of the cabana...

I am the lord of smell and I bring you smell fire.