Neighborhood art show

The only thing better than not doing
something well is not doing it at all
and the next best thing to that is screwing

it up completely so that it does not
come off as even a half-assed attempt
put forward by a half-wit or wing-nut

like when someone who, for instance, can't paint
sets out with best intent to sketch a scene
in oils but since Grandma Moses he ain't--

to employ slang--my pet orangutan
could do better; you get the picture, I
hope: it's embarrassing, though not the same

as what results from efforts of dabblers,
hobbyists, and amateurs who never
fail to miss the mark. These vain mishandlers

get it just a little bit wrong. So who
will tell them that a failure's a greater
failure to the extent it comes close

in the same way nearly great orators
are worse than verbose? Where's the pompous,
self-loathing, hectoring poetaster

who'll play the role of the disparager?

Relax

The great god Relax rose up from his tub
roaring, "Oh rub a dub rub a dub dub;"
I toweled the aqua droplets from off
his back and stained the clean white towel blue.
The towel was ruined and I shook that
another job was botched by my own hands,
but coffee was brought by serenest guys
and oh to be like these, I thought, like these
quite calm, and followed them then to lawns where
the towel dried white again on my arm.