Honk

Honk if your frustrations have fused with the very core of your being.

The Answer

Lots of cats are moody
and independent in their ways,
and some cats can be snooty
and put others in their place,
but sometimes the cat who's most attitudinous
is also the most beautious.

And if you wonder who that is
you must wonder it twice
(just as the way to double a cat's happiness
is to double the number of mice!)
So if the question's not "who" but "who-who?"--
the answer must be Foo-Foo!

If the question is who-who?
the answer must be Foo-Foo!

Anything goes

Anything goes one day, everything's gone the next.

Bad Name for a Pastry Shop

You Don't Know Where I've Bun

Dew

Drunk on the wine of experiences
too many to count and far too sad to talk
about with you, drunk---though not senseless,
I made errors that cannot be rethought, my pony.
And, while there is a newer emphasis
that takes experiences, dubious
experiences, and tries to revisit
them with a standard light, I am curious
how rubbing particularities across
each other like grass and ugly insect legs
could change those evenings when, lost and not lost,

I stumbled, I slept, I was covered with dew.
Then, lying on the grass with a liquid ear,
I’d hear tiny prehistoric horses
gallop limply through conduits under
my yard, running from and to me who’d pour
myself out and be refilled many times
prior to rising and shaking myself dry
and mounting you, my pony, to begin
only from habit another long day's ride.

To the automotive advice columnist

I have been thinking of planting a small garden or number of garden areas on my mid-size car. Well, not technically gardens, but square plots of grass. I think I'd like to place a square of turf, perhaps 2.25 square feet in size on the hood, a similar, though smaller, square on the trunk, and a larger square (or perhaps a rectangle) on the roof. In order to do this, I intend to weld metal strips of perhaps two or three inches in height to the car's surface to serve as borders to the grass and soil. My question: can you suggest materials I might treat the present surface of the vehicle with to prevent corrosion? Secondly, do you think that two inches of soil will be enough to support the continued growth of a lush surface of grass? Well, perhaps that is really a question for the gardening column. I appreciate your advice in this matter.

Rattlesnake-earthworm fusion

A mechanically replicated and miniaturized rattlesnake's rattle is surgically attached to an earthworm. It rattles automatically. Now, the worm announces its insignificance and adds to the sound of the rain. (The mechanism must be waterproof.)

Song

Everything I do is wrong--
I've made it a sort of song
or dirge
and I was singing it all day long
until you left, slamming the door,
leaving the television
overturned and smoking on the floor...
and more!

But you'll be back
to pick up the slack,
to spruce up the shack,
and put spine in my back
by telling me
everything I do is wrong.

And of poor quality too.

Pain, My Child Bride

A song

My pain is all I have, brother--
pain is my father and my mother;
from my pain I will not hide,
for pain, she is my child bride!

She may be mild, she may be dormant--
she may be objectified, an ornament;
she may be straightforward and/or snide
but pain, she is my child bride!

She may be wicked and intense,
she may dwell in the pluperfect tense,
she may be busy tanning hides
but pain, she is my child bride!

Secret Domicile of the Most Relaxed

Here is a view of the Secret Domicile.

Admission

I had an affair with Tiger too.

Realization!

When we take chances, we often fail.

Office Tao

Sit at desk doing nothing--

hard not to respond to incoming emails.

Sit at desk doing nothing--

hard not to answer ringing phone.

Sit at desk doing nothing--

hard not to listen to coworkers' voices.

Sit at desk doing nothing--

not that hard when you get the hang of it.

Meetings, the Tao thereof

Meetings fall on the sage's day like gentle rain.
A good meeting is like a marsh or pond.
A bad meeting is like a swamp.
There is little difference between a good meeting
and a bad meeting.

Those who know, do not know.

The sage, his use of words

The sage uses arcane words like "gustatory."

He uses them incorrectly.

Tao Te Ching, Part 2

The sage's shoes are too big for his feet.
Sometimes one falls off.
Does he stop to put it back on?
Not necessarily.
Shoes are like water. Feet are like fish.

Bureaucratic musings

Weakness--the new strength.  Indifference--the new engagement.  Mediocrity--the new excellence.

Our process

Our process is iterative, mutually reactive, trusting, rapid--like elves making love...without the high-pitched screeches.

I have screwed up this photo!

Reassessment, necessary or not?

If my weak side is always in conflict with my strong side, and my weak side usually wins, is my weak side stronger than my strong side?