Honk

Honk if your frustrations have fused with the very core of your being.

The Answer

Lots of cats are moody
and independent in their ways,
and some cats can be snooty
and put others in their place,
but sometimes the cat who's most attitudinous
is also the most beautious.

And if you wonder who that is
you must wonder it twice
(just as the way to double a cat's happiness
is to double the number of mice!)
So if the question's not "who" but "who-who?"--
the answer must be Foo-Foo!

If the question is who-who?
the answer must be Foo-Foo!

Anything goes

Anything goes one day, everything's gone the next.

Bad Name for a Pastry Shop

You Don't Know Where I've Bun

Dew

Drunk on the wine of experiences
too many to count and far too sad to talk
about with you, drunk---though not senseless,
I made errors that cannot be rethought, my pony.
And, while there is a newer emphasis
that takes experiences, dubious
experiences, and tries to revisit
them with a standard light, I am curious
how rubbing particularities across
each other like grass and ugly insect legs
could change those evenings when, lost and not lost,

I stumbled, I slept, I was covered with dew.
Then, lying on the grass with a liquid ear,
I’d hear tiny prehistoric horses
gallop limply through conduits under
my yard, running from and to me who’d pour
myself out and be refilled many times
prior to rising and shaking myself dry
and mounting you, my pony, to begin
only from habit another long day's ride.

To the automotive advice columnist

I have been thinking of planting a small garden or number of garden areas on my mid-size car. Well, not technically gardens, but square plots of grass. I think I'd like to place a square of turf, perhaps 2.25 square feet in size on the hood, a similar, though smaller, square on the trunk, and a larger square (or perhaps a rectangle) on the roof. In order to do this, I intend to weld metal strips of perhaps two or three inches in height to the car's surface to serve as borders to the grass and soil. My question: can you suggest materials I might treat the present surface of the vehicle with to prevent corrosion? Secondly, do you think that two inches of soil will be enough to support the continued growth of a lush surface of grass? Well, perhaps that is really a question for the gardening column. I appreciate your advice in this matter.

Rattlesnake-earthworm fusion

A mechanically replicated and miniaturized rattlesnake's rattle is surgically attached to an earthworm. It rattles automatically. Now, the worm announces its insignificance and adds to the sound of the rain. (The mechanism must be waterproof.)